


love is a deadly weapon

by finalfrontierpioneer



Series: saints and sinners [2]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, GTA V AU, Hopeful Ending, M/M, but i promise there is eventually a happy ending, just not very soon, this is an interlude between fics kind of, this mostly just angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-05
Updated: 2018-12-06
Packaged: 2019-09-12 07:59:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16869151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/finalfrontierpioneer/pseuds/finalfrontierpioneer
Summary: Fake AH is falling apart





	1. Michael

Michael has never been afraid of Gavin. Unsettled, shocked, sure. Afraid for him? Definitely. But afraid of him? Never.

Until now.

He drums his fingers on the steering wheel, casting uneasy glances at Gavin in the passenger seat.

Gavin has gone...well, Michael doesn’t really know how to describe it. He’s just gone. He’s not himself; everybody knows it. But nobody’s gonna say anything, because nobody is really themselves anymore. 

Ryan may be the Mad King, but Gavin’s the one dropping the most bodies on heists now. 

Michael might actually be impressed, if this were happening under different circumstances. Gavin’s brutal, deadly, and he hasn’t been showing any mercy. He’s just cold. 

And that’s just not who Gavin is. Or at least, was. He might pull crazy stunts, but you could always count on him to keep the mood light. 

Now he’s fucking terrifying to watch or even be near the field, because whatever self preservation he had died that night.

That night. 

They don’t talk about it. And they probably should, but Michael hesitates to initiate any heart to heart about it.

Mostly because he, like every other member of Fake AH, can’t stomach it.

He gulps down the impending nausea.

He can still smell the smoke, feel the flames. He remembers being knocked back by the explosion, and remembers the panic, the confusion. He doesn’t even know how they managed to drag Gavin away from the burning warehouse, kicking and screaming. 

Every night he relives it. He suspects the others do, too. He knows Ray does. Did. 

He forgets they’re no longer sleeping in the same bed.

Which is just another way his life is going down the shitter. And Michael doesn’t know how the fuck to pick up the pieces.

He’s startled out of his thoughts when Gavin clears his throat. Michael snaps his gaze over to him.

But Gavin isn’t trying to start a conversation with him. He just shifts in his seat and continues staring out the passenger side window.

Michael’s not used to feeling awkward around Gavin. Even when he’d first joined the gang, back when it was just Geoff, Jack, and Gavin. Gavin had immediately made an effort to be friends, and at first Michael had been irritated. He was there to make money, not friends. But Gavin persisted, and eventually wormed his way into Michael’s circle of closest friends.

Looking back now, Michael appreciates it more than he’s ever told Gavin. And he owes him for that. Now he’s the one who has to force the friendly conversation, and it’s fucking hard.

“So uh, hey Gav,” Gavin continues to look out the window, “wanna get bevs tonight after this heist?” 

“I’ve got plans, sorry boi,” Gavin shrugs lazily without turning to face him.

“Gavin.” Michael’s not gonna let it go this time.

Gavin finally looks at him.

“Are you- are you okay?” The question is so pathetic, and really, Michael already knows the answer.

Gavin just laughs bitterly and shakes his head. Michael’s getting angry now- he’s trying here and Gavin is just blowing him off.

“Hey! This affects the rest of us, too! You don’t have the monopoly on fucking grief, okay?” Every single one of them is upset, Gavin doesn’t get to just isolate himself and disappear.

Gavin’s angry, too. He kicks the dashboard. “Michael, you have no idea what this is like for me, okay?”

Gavin does have a point. “You’re right- I know you guys were close, you lived together, I didn’t know him half as well as you did, I get it, okay?” Michael unclenches his hands from where they’re clamped on the steering wheel and tries to understand where Gavin is coming from.

It’s true- the crew’s close, but they always end up pairing off, and some of them are closer than others. He can fully admit that Jack and Gavin seem to be suffering more than the others, which makes sense, because they knew Geoff the longest. 

Gavin gives Michael a considering look before he says this: “Just imagine how you would feel if it was Ray.”

Michael frowns at that, a little irritated that Gavin is bringing Ray into this. Because that is just...not something he wants to think about. Ray is not just his best friend, he’s...oh. Fuck.

Gavin and Geoff. It...makes sense, actually. And Gavin’s descent into whatever madness this is makes sense, too.

“I come home to an empty loft and- an empty bed,” Gavin swallows hard.

“Shit, Gav,” Michael sighs, completely drained of anger.

The floodgates have opened for Gavin, though. “I can’t even bring myself to go through his stuff, how pathetic is that.” This is the most Gavin has spoken to him since Geoff died, and honestly, now Michael just wishes he would stop talking. Because fuck, Michael is gonna cry or something.

Even though it’s hard to listen, it’s also reassuring. Michael can see a glimpse of the old Gavin in this outpouring of raw emotion. 

“Every fucking night I dream about what happened,” Gavin chokes out, “and then- when I wake up, at first, I think it was just a dream. But then he isn’t there.” 

Michael runs a hand through his hair. “Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

“About our relationship?” Well, he’s really wondering why Gavin never told them why he was so upset. But it’s pretty much the same question. “Geoff thought it might be a liability in our line of work, and I agreed. So we never advertised it,” Gavin admits. “But I guess it doesn’t matter anymore.”

Gavin has a hand over his eyes and Michael’s afraid tears are coming.

His own eyes are suspiciously watery. “Jesus, of course it matters.” Michael reaches out and grabs Gavin’s shoulder.

Gavin just slumps into it.

Their earpieces crackle to life.

“Alright, Gavin, you’re up- Ray and I are in position,” Jack says. 

Gavin’s exterior hardens before his eyes, spine becoming iron.

He pulls away from Michael without meeting his eyes, and then he’s cocking his pistol and slipping out the door. 

Michael’s been just drifting since Geoff died. Just… waiting for something. For Jack to call with a job, for Ray to just talk to him. 

But now? Now that he got Gavin to talk, he feels like maybe things can be fixed. Not immediately, sure. 

Geoff might be gone, but Fake AH isn’t. Not yet.


	2. Ray

He can’t breathe- he doesn’t remember how many flights of stairs he climbed to get up to his sniper’s perch, but it seems even longer running down them.

But shit. Everything’s gone sideways. 

The warehouse just fucking exploded, no warning. But the job had basically been over, he’d already been in the middle of packing up. 

He doesn’t know where anyone is (he can’t help that his first thought is of Michael).

When he finally reaches the ground and bursts out the door, there’s pure chaos. The getaway car is right in front of him. Jack is hanging out of the driver’s side window, looking horrified. 

And Gavin is screaming from down the block, where the warehouse they had just raided has gone up in flames.

He finally sees Michael, trying to pull Gavin away from the building and toward the car. But Gavin is fighting desperately, slowly but surely slipping away from him.

Ray’s feet are stuck; he’s petrified and useless. He knows what’s coming next.

The warehouse explodes again, knocking Ray right off his feet. When he gets back up, his ears are ringing and both Michael and Gavin are down. 

Only this time they don’t get up. Michael’s just laying there and he’s not getting up and Ray’s panicking and he’s running but he’s not getting any closer and the flames are getting higher and brighter.

Michael’s burning and Ray’s still running. And then, finally he’s burning with Michael.

Ray jerks awake with a gasp.

He instinctively turns to the other side of the bed, before he remembers he’s at his own apartment and he hasn’t been able to look Michael in the eye since the explosion.

It’s not that he doesn’t love Michael anymore- that’s not it at all. He feels guilty. Not that it’s his fault, no. That his first priority had been Michael, and whenever he meets Gavin’s cold dead gaze, he remembers the sick sense of relief he’d felt when he saw Michael was fine.

And how can he keep dating Michael if, every time he looks at him, he feels so sick and relieved that Geoff is the one who died.

Not that he doesn’t miss Geoff, of course he does. The whole crew’s fallen apart without him. Emotionally, anyway. They still go on jobs and pull off heists, but it’s not the same.

He flops back down on the bed. There’s no way he’s falling asleep now. He turns toward Michael’s side of the bed and throws an arm over it. What he would give for Michael to be here now. 

But it’s his own fault Michael isn’t. He’s stuck in a rut of guilt and sick relief. It’s not fair to Michael, but Ray can’t change the way he feels. And he couldn’t bear it if Michael ever found out what’s going on in his head. What if Michael thinks he’s a monster? Or that he doesn’t care about Geoff?

Ray rubs at his eyes and wills the thick feeling of tears away. He pulls another pillow over his head and groans.

And then his phone rings.

He bolts straight up, afraid that maybe it’s one of the crew with an emergency.

The display’s lit up bright and clear- it’s Michael. Definitely unusual since they had their falling out.

Ray sighs and debates answering. In the end, he needs to hear Michael’s voice after the nightmare. And he misses him. If Michael’s reaching out, Ray can’t turn him away.

So Ray answers the phone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There IS more, it's just...not written yet lol

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, don't worry. This is NOT the end of this series. I don't exactly know where I'm going with it, nor do I have it finished, but there WILL be a happy ending. I just really felt angsty.


End file.
